This is one of those emails that gets forwarded a lot...
THINK ABOUT IT.
Ever wonder about people who spend $2 apiece on
those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian
backwards: NAIVE
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like
making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My
sentiments exactly)
OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as
The "Jags" and he Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the
"Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does
That mean that one enjoys it?
There are three religious truths:
Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader
of the Christian faith.
Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor
store or at Hooters.
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't
people from Holland called Holes?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't
They just stale bread to begin with?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist
but a person who drives a racecar is not called a
racist?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow that electricians can be
delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys dranged, models deposed,
tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it
Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses
of bald men?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the
Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned
On me ....they're cramming for their final exam.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with
tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do
Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage
stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they
deliver the mail?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then
what exactly are the others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to
drive.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if
It didn't zigzag?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice:
When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together
It spells "THEIRS"?